I'M BACK!!!!

It's Me the legendary Toad Sage!!!!

Hey, I'm finally back. I've been gone on a long mission. Top secret stuff... I know i've been gone for a very long time! But Finally I'm back! I can't tell you what I was doing but, I can give you a hint! It will hit the top selling charts in the future!!! There will be more to say next time... For now........ I've got more work to do... but I will be back... Trust me... I will... Toad Sage... OUT!

Enter Uzumaki Naruto!!!

I think I went to the wrong channel... can some one direct me to Cartoon Network please... Believe it...

Hey it's me... Uzumaki Naruto... Number 1 loud mouth ninja... Jirayai just made take this disgusting action shot of him... [[ whispers]] I think he is trying to get a date off of Konohaspace...

Oh yeah... now that's better... Do u know what... this is my first time... ever talking to anyone on this internet thing... how are all of you? I'm doing good... how's your life been going for u so far... mines been going incredible... U know...My dad's dead... i don't know what happened to my mom... uhm... pops put a demon in me... uhm... i was an outcast... hmmm

Oh yeah... I wanted to let u all know that Jiraiya has been like a grand father to me... a very old perverted grandfather... who I would never ever... leave a nice beautiful young woman.. like Sakura... Well she'd probably kick his...

It's been so long since... Me... Sakura and Saskue were on a mission... it's been a long time... do u know what... Sakura did a painting... and when she showed it to me... i just wanted to find Saskue even more..

We used to be friends... We used to be friends... along time ago... along time a go... Aaaaaa AAAAA.... The Veronica Mars/OC theme song...

I wish i could have my own theme song... Oh wait... i do... SWEET... TIME FOR SOME RAMEN!!!!!! Later... i'm gonna get me some Ramen... and maybe score! Woot Woot!

Ho Ho Ho... it's the great Toad Sage... back for one more

How do u like this sexy Action Shot???? I had Naruto take it... OH YEAH!
Man... it's be awhile... see I was stuck fighting with this dork... I was out promoting my new Book... " Kissy Kissy Goo Goo: The true Konoha Story" Which hits shelves December 21st... just in time for Christmas.... Sorry... I deviated... I was in such a heated battle... with this no body... I forget his name... Kisame... no that's not it... Ping pong... nope... that's not it either... Pang... Eh... whatever his name is...

But i'm not here to bore u with my tales... I bet my tales of great accomplishments are out there, you can probably read all about it... Or wait until they make the movie about me... hahaha... Well. that's all I have to say for now... Remember... BUY MY BOOK!!!! Comes out December 21st... tell everyone you know... get your very own copy of "Kissy Kissy GOO GOO: The True Konoha Story"

Jiraiya Out!

The Toad Sage is back

Ho Ho HO, the great Toad Sage is back, and he's better than ever... Oh yeah folks, you can pick up ur very own copy of Jiraiya's love juice at any great ninja convienent mart...

Man, I was looking through some old photos, of me and the other Lengendary No bodys... hahaha... just kidding...

Man, what happened to Tsunade? She used to be so flat... well see kids, eating your vegetables and having a lot of protien can do wonders for ya! HO HO HO, what I would do to her in a dark alley, with her hands tied behind her back, and her not kicking my ass...

Look at that... Mr. Big Bad Soul Jumper... OOOOH look at me, I'm so gloomy ... I'm so sad... let me leave and become a loner, because I want to become Powerful... Orochimaru... look at what happened to him... he went off and become sooo evil... Tsunade is a medical ninja... Orochimaru is a loner who's great at Jutsus... and me the great Jiraiya is just a perv... who can summon toads!

Wait a minute... why does that sound so familiiar?

Naruto... Saskue... and Sakura... what is this... It's like looking into a smaller... bloder mirror... man... I really hope Naruto doesn't end up like me... I think honestly... we've all scarred these kids for life... I mean really... I think we have scarred them... what if Saskue grows up and leave the village, and tries to become stronger only to get revenge on someone that was once close to them... Oh Wait... he already left with Orochimaru... What if Sakura ends up wanting to be smart, beautiful and a Medical ninja? What if she becomes so incredibly strong? Oh Wait she has... My good ness... these kids need to get their own identities... next thing you know they'll be considered the greatest Ninja's in the entire world... even legendary status... and then... one of them becomes Hokage... my god... I'll have to put a stop to this... I need to talk to Orochimaru... see if he's in... I think the three legendary Sannin can take on three little ninjas!

RIGHT?!?!

Shadow Possession Jutsu

Blogs... there are soooo troublesome! Why am i even doing this? It's Nara... Skikamaru Nara here! I've had many questions about my shadow Possession jutsu! It's really simple, and you guys are making it so trouble some! All you need to do is be a Nara... Oh wait, you aren't so it's much harder for you guys to perform my families technique! All of you are so troublesome, just like that blonde beautry Temari... Oh wait... did I say that out loud... man i hope she doesn't read this. i need to get into my corner, put my fingers together and figure a plan to make sure she doesn't read this....

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GOT IT! I've got only one option... I have to marry her... that way she'll never know that I like her... I have everything planned out... I'll marry her, and distract her from all computers in Konoha... wait... that won't work... I'll have to destroy all of the computers... wait... what about the sand village computers... do they even get decent internet connections out there... I mean come on it's all sand! AHA... this idea was sooo troublesome... I'll tell her I'm gay... but that would make it awkward around Naruto... I remember the first time Him and Saskue kissed... pretty troublesome.. for all the girls! But hey... you all are making me do so much more work than I'm used to! I'm outta here... you troublesome people! The ladies are troubling me! Shikamaru... OUT!...

See I pulled a Seacrest!

It's the Great...Legendary toad Sage!

Ho Ho Ho... I'm not the fat man in the red robe, creaping down your Chimney! Oh no! It's me the great... the one... the only TOAD SAGE Jiraiya! Oh YEAH!!!!
I was in the middle of some awesome research, when i just had to sit here and tell you all about my new book! It's going to be so much better than "Make out Paradise" Oh YEAH! That's gonna be tough to beat! But I'm using my Toton jutsu, and i haven't been CAUGHT YET!

Now, let me tell u a little secret... i have a MAJOR crush on some one!!! I'll give you a hint... don't tell anyone! But all of my books revolve around my love for this "Flat chested" woman!!! HAHAHAHA sometimes i make myself laugh! I'm just way to funny!

Well enough of the promoting of my new book... Which I am working on a title... what do you guys think it should be??? "Goo Goo Paradise" " Love of a Hokage" " I like big Kunais and can not lie"

Well a small update on your fool of a ninja... the future sixth Hokage... which i never understood... if your not the first of something... there is no point in doing it... Like come on I had two shots... but being Hokage would've totally ruined my research time.... Wait ... wait... a minute!!!! OH MY GOODNESS... For the Love of Kunais... When your Hokage everyone listens to you! AHHHH I made a big mistake! do you think it's to late to become Hokage? Well All i'll have to do is make sure Naruto doesn't make it... he he he... Maybe I'll teach him the Explody Rasengan! HAHAHAHA

Oh... the hot springs are getting crowded... Time to go back and do some research!!!

An old tale from an Old ramen lover!

Hi, today i'm gonna take a break, because I have a special guest for you all today. He's really old, he's lived in Konoha all of his life! But his name will stay secret! he has a lot of enemies!

Welcome my new young readers! Grab a nice steamy bowl of Rame, pull up a seat and I'll tell you a tale of a great hero, a great Shinobi warrior. Uzumaki Naruto of the Hidden Leaf Village! He is the resident number 1 Loud mouth ninja, who is unpredictable! So sit back and listen to this old mans tale of the Boy who harboured a demon within his soul!
Long ago when I was a Jounin, my team and I were off on a mission, while we were on our way home, we recieved news from my trusted messenger hawk that Konoha was under attack. My home was being attacked by the most power Demon of them all! The NINE TAILS DEMON FOX!!!! My time and I rushed back to our village to see it in total chaos! The Demon fox was unrelenting! Many great Shinobi warriors Died that day! A very close friend of mine died that night... Minato....The Fourth Hokage. At such a young age, death came to him to quickly! He just fathered a young baby boy... Uzumaki Naruto. The Foruth Hokage may he rest in peace, used his own jutsu and sealed the Kyubi inside of his own son! Hoping that the villagers of Konoha would respect him, and honor the fact that Naruto held the demon at bay! But to my dismay, no one loved or revered Naruto!
The last mission the Fourth Hokage sent me on was a top secret mission, which I still am working till this very day. For I was away from the Land of Konoha for so long! I would've gladly taken Naruto under my wing and trained him as my own! But dreams sometime never come true! But how Naruto has Grown. He's been the most loudest prankster! He always seem to amaze me, even when he didn't graduate from school, he still managed to become a gennin! The night he stole the sacred Scrolls. I was just returning home, and I was ready to stop anyone from harming young Naruto, but he seemed to be able to handle it himself. He was able to master the KageBushin no Jutsu in no time at all!
That's all for today, i must get back to my mission, and if you are willing to have me return! I shall... I'll tell you about my exploits, my adventures, and my mysterious life! goodbye fellow shinobi warriors!